Regrets? I’ve Had Very Few.


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Regrets?  I am very happy to say that I have had very few.  I attempt to live my life daily by taking full advantage of what each day has to offer.  Oh I am far from perfect, let me just set you straight on that—but I have discovered that I live a fuller and better life if I live without regrets. That is one reason why I continue to place a high value on friendships (both real and imaginary) that come my way.  I strive to be a good friend and stay in touch with those who are no longer close to me in a geographic sense.  I try to be a good daughter, sister, aunt, in law and mom. I try every day to be the best wife that I can be because I don’t want to look back in 5 years and wish that I had treated that relationship with a bit more care and love.

If I am really honest with myself I would have to admit to a few regrets.  Most of them would center around things not done with my boys.  I regret that I did not keep better records of their childhood in written form.  Oh sure–we have scads of photographs and school papers in boxes but I did not take the time to really journal their lives or write letters to them when they were little. That time is long gone and I won’t be able to recoup that and that makes me a little sad and regretful. But honestly?  That is about it.

I have been blessed with a life that has been full of love and relationships.  I have been able to be there for loved ones when they needed me and I do not take that lightly because not everyone has been afforded those opportunities.  I do not take it for granted that we were able to spend so much time with my father in law before he passed away.   I am happy that the last days spent with my own dad were ones that were easier and more plentiful because we lived closer to my parents then.

I have learned to go with the flow more as I get older and to live each moment and rejoice over each opportunity that comes my way.  Maybe that is something that comes with age.  Maybe it is something that comes with the recognition that life can be cut short in an instant.  All I know is that I am happy that I am able to live in the moment with few regrets.

 How about you?  Do you have regrets?  If so, what can you do to turn those regrets into a positive? I would love to hear your comments.

My Way by Frank Sinatra

Songwriters: Carter, Shawn C / Revaud, Francois / Thibaut, Giles / Anka, Paul / Francois, Claude

And now, the end is near

And so I face the final curtain

My friend, I’ll say it clear I’ll state my case

of which I’m certain I’ve lived a life that’s full

I traveled each and ev’ry highway

And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few

But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do , I saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
And through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way”

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
The right to say the things he feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

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Comments

  1. I guess I have regrets but at 62 I don’t spend time thinking about them because there is nothing I can do to change them. Like you I prefer to live in the moment and go with the flow. I have really had to work on the living in the moment thing! I also have had to remind myself that it’s OK to be happy. Being happy makes other people happy too.. :D Good Morning Beth Ann!

  2. I guess none of us get out of this life without a few regrets, but nothing that I haven’t been able to soothe in my head and heart. Just have to continue to do our best to live the best life we can under all circumstances. ♥

  3. What an encouraging post, Beth Ann. We all have regrets, but I don’t dwell on them. The past is done and we learn from it and move on and, as you say, celebrate each day we are given. I think the realization of this does come with age.

    And let me add, I am blessed to be among your “imaginary,” now “real,” friends. Have a wonderful day, my friend.

  4. Hi, there, “pleased to meet you”. Thanks for visiting. Isn’t Pix just the sweetest thing?? I’m really hoping to meet her in person one day!
    Your post today reminds me of a current country song by Blake Shelton. This particularl lyric always “gets me”:
    “What’s the greatest chapter in your book?
    Are there pages where it hurts to look?
    What’s the one regret you can’t work through?”
    I guess we all have a few…some just tug at the heartstrings a little more powerfully. I
    I’m going to spend a little time reading some of your previous posts!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Dianna! Yes, Pix is the sweetest and most encouraging. I love meeting so many wonderful people out there in the blogosphere–including you!!!

  5. Virginia says:

    I have some regrets, of course, and mostly they do revolve around my children and things that I could have done better (though at the time, I know that I was doing my best). I think that everything that I have lived through (the joy and the sorrow) has worked to make me who I am – and for the most part, I am fairly happy with me. I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn but I am trying to keep walking towards Jesus in all that I do. I stumble often but He is always there waiting for me. Thank you Beth Ann – I love your blogs and I love you!

    • For the most part I think that we all have a few regrets when it comes to our kids because we just want the very best for them, right? And yes—life experiences definitely make us who we are today and you should definitely be happy with YOU because YOU are amazing, woman!!! No doubt about that one at all. I am blessed by you and this comment made me smile ear to ear this morning. Lots of love coming your way!

  6. Miranda Gargasz says:

    The things I regret most in life, oddly, are also things that I’m happy I did. I regret that I let my mom suck up so much of my life by trying repeatedly to give her a chance to step up and be a good mom and grandmother. I am glad I did that, thought, because I can rest easy now knowing I did everything I could to make it happen. I know with certainty that it wasn’t me that ruined that. One regret that I can’t ever make up for: putting my husband through that heartache. Otherwise, I do what I can never to regret anything. I try hard to be the best I can. I screw up often, but at least I screw up with the best intentions in my heart.

  7. It seems as if one of the blessings of growing older is the ability to look back with a peaceful spirit, refusing to tarry over the things you “should” have done. Nobody has a crystal ball and honestly, if we had to live those days over again, most of us would do the exact same thing. Still, how wonderful that you’re one who chose wisely all those years (and yes, the boys will be fine with scattered photos and no lengthy letters!). At least YOU were there!

    • You get it, don’ t you? I guess it is all up to the individual to determine how they view things that did or did not happen in life but I am glad that I have a peace.

  8. I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately and currently feel top heavy with regrets. Thankfully very few about how I have treated people or about being a Mom. More about the different paths I’ve chosen. For example not moving back to Albq and being closer to my family after Joe died…I know why I didn’t make the change (Cole, my business, fear) but looking back I am not sure it was my wisest move. Regrets are mostly a waste of time but at times they feel very real and then we (I) have to choose if I want to keep my energy in the past or use what I’ve learned as I move into the future.

    • I truly believe that as long as you can continue to move forward in life with decisions made (even if they are regrettable ones) you are far better ahead than someone who lives in the past and dwells on those regrets. It does not good except to give you wisdom to choose a different path perhaps in the future. You are such an inspiring role model that I have to believe that you really did the right thing—-I admire you for it. It would have been a much easier path to have moved back closer to your family but you chose to go your own way and do what you felt was best for Cole and your business. You, my friend, have gumption. :-) And to me that is a good thing.

  9. I’m not going to lie, I definitely have regrets but to dwell on the does me no good. :)

    • You are right—dwelling on them does absolutely nothing so you are so wise to move on and just get past them. I am not wanting you guys to think I am perfect—far from it—but I think I just have lived life to realize that it is all part of the process and I have had great role models and mentors along the way who helped with that. Does that make sense? I hope so.

  10. I agree with Behind the Mask…I do have regrets, but I see them as things that made me a more mature person.

  11. I am sure I would have lots of regrets but they are over and I try not to do anything that I will regret now. We can’t be perfect but we can try.

    • How can you say you have had lots of regrets? I think you have lived an amazing life with few things you should regret—at least that is my humble observation! Love you!

  12. Regrets? Yes, I may have a few but then we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have regrets. I think as we age, it’s normal to look back and think if we could do it over would we do it differently. That’s just it though, it’s in the past; nothing we say or do can change that…we just need to look ahead and squeeze the best of life out of every day.

  13. I regret I started smoking because it was the “cool” thing to do over 40 years ago; I regret not getting smart enough to quit before I started having health problems; I regret not calling off my first wedding after waking up the morning of my wedding day & thinking “If I didn’t have all these people & guests counting on me, I don’t think I would show up today.”; I regret tearing up a letter I wrote to my baby daughter when she was an infant (because I was a single parent, I wanted her to know how much she was loved & what it felt like to be a new mom to her) because I was afraid someone would use it against me, to hurt me.

    • That is quite a list but ones that are very understandable. You have been through a lot but made it out the other side and what a story you have and what connections you have made with others. You are an inspiration and someday….I am going to say….yea—I knew her before she was famous. Hugs.

  14. hhmmmmm, is looking back and knowing that I might do something differently — giving the knowledge I have now — the same as regret? I don’t think so. I think that’s just maturing. But I don’t feel bad/regretful of those things; I did the best that I could at the time. Or, I maybe learned something the hard way — but I still learned. So I don’t think I have any regrets per say. I think that can get you bogged down on your failures, instead of being able to see all the ways that you have grown as a person.

  15. I have had very few regrets. If I think through my life so far I’ve had a few “bad” times and some of them turned out to be positive in the end for me.

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